twelve.

it's january first, two-thousand and twelve. TWELVE. can you believe it? january first is a good time for being nostalgic and hopeful all at once. it's a good time to dream about how to make your life everything you want it to be and let everything you don't want dissolve away into last year (even if it was just two days ago, you can completely blow it off now by saying, "oh, that was last year, i've moved on.")

this morning i have been reading random entries from one of my favourite newly-found bloggers (who is not at all new to many people), kelle hampton. when i read about kelle and her girls and her life, i am struck by how full it all is. when you read about her adventures, large and small, exciting and mundane, it's hard not to see how her heart and soul explodes with a fullness of love and life.

that's how i want to live. that's how i try to live. and then i get caught up little things that pull me out of my fullness like a grouchy customer at work, a messy kitchen, a broken glass. not to be all pollyanna, but i have a really good life: a really cute apartment (even if small), an amazingly loving partner, the sweetest cat known to woman, an unbelievably supportive family, a job when many are jobless, two cars that work - i could go on. sure, our apartment is too small and impossible to get completely clean, our friend circle is small, our jobs don't really pay quite enough to be as comfortable as we would like, and i am really, really tired all the time. but my life is good, and it's the only one i have so i'd like to enjoy it.

i have some resolutions. they are about my work, and my food choices, and exercising and many of the typical resolution-y type things. but my bigger goal is to live my life fully. to hold my joys, my sorrows, my hopes, and my dreams in my heart and mind in ways that build me up and build up those around me. i want to bask in the goodness, learn from the sadness, and make my life what i want it to be.