you look like april

or a common whore. at least that's what the people i encountered today thought. today we went to brunch where the waitress told me, "you look like april!" she was very enthusiastic about it and it was very much a compliment, and i took it as such since that was the look i was going for. we then went to the outdoor shopping center we like to frequent on nice days, and the middle-aged ladies scorned me for my hem length. i wanted to tell them that staring at it wasn't going to make it any longer, but i didn't. i'm a nice girl, contrary to what they may think. here's the april/whorey outfit in question:

what i'm wearing:
t-shirt: threads for thought
cardigan: banana republic
skirt: american apparel
shoes: anthropologie

when people stare at me i think of these great things to say, but i never really say them because i'm very non-confrontational. i also remind myself that i sometimes look at people because i am interested and not because i'm judging, so others are likely doing the same. but still, it really bothers me when people stare. as much as i can tell, the staring falls into a few general categories:

1. i like her hair/outfit/look!
2. her hair/outfit/look is weird!
3. are they or aren't they a couple?
   
4. i want a piece of that!

occasionally, the staring is a combination of these. the first doesn't bother me, and when i'm clear it's that one, it actually flatters me. when it's the third, i understand because i do the same thing and it's pretty expected. also, i think queer viability matters, so while it can be really awkward (and upsetting when people are also judging), it's usually worth it to not live my life as a secret. the fourth is rarer and rarer these days, which is honestly okay with me because it makes me uncomfortable.

the second is the real wildcard here. somewhat like the third, when it's weird but only weird (not weird-bad), i don't really care. i think people could be more polite and keep their eyes on their own paper, but people look at things that get their attention, and i know i wear strange things sometimes, so c'este la vie. when the stares are clearly, "her look is weird and that bothers me," i just don't really understand and it hurts my feelings. i do live in a pretty conservative city, so get this a lot. show some leg, cleavage (even if you're a member of the IBTC), back, or wear something fitted or odd and you'll get a few of these. i really don't see how my outfit affects anyone else, but apparently they feel it does. after an hour or so today, i just wanted to go home and not be looked at anymore.

when it comes down to it, though, i don't make my outfit choices with these opinions in mind at all. i consider how i feel in the outfit and, if i'm going to work, if it meets our dress code and will be conducive for what i have planned for the day. that's it. yesterday i wore mustard-colored tights and plaid shoes to work. one little girl told me my shoes were pretty and another petted my tights, so my eccentric fashion (if you can even call it that; i honestly think i'm mostly boring) is working for someone. i hope you enjoy it too.